


Hall of Death

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Ancient Devices, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-31
Updated: 2011-10-31
Packaged: 2017-10-25 03:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/271171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We believe knowing how we die will direct us in how we should live."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hall of Death

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ozsaur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozsaur/gifts).



> Note: The deaths are all in alternate timelines. The violence warning is for those deaths, which are not described in detail but it is mentioned how they die, which is sometimes violent.

"We believe knowing how we die will direct us in how we should live."

Rodney wasn't sure if he agreed with the natives, but the Hall of Death they'd been led to was definitely of Ancient origin. They'd been left alone to "experience the wisdom of death". The natives had assured them several times that the death was not to be taken literally. They would only get a passive glimpse at how they might die, hopefully gathering guidance.

"It's probably a quantum mirror with some kind of artificial intelligence to screen the universes," Rodney said as they stood in front of a little podium, consisting of a lectern on a small raised circular platform.

"It should be safe?" Teyla asked.

"I can't say before we see what it _actually_ does. Maybe this device only shows us images instead of opening a connection between universes," Rodney said.

"We could just stay here for a bit and then thank them for their generosity," Sheppard suggested, warily looking at the podium and the fist sized globe on it.

Rodney turned to him and asked, "You don't even want to see what it does?"

"As tempting as watching myself die over and over again sounds, I'll pass," Sheppard said, glaring at him.

"I'll try it," Ronon said. They all turned to him.

Sheppard didn't look happy, but gave a small nod.

Ronon stepped onto the podium and immediately a still image of him on a battlefield appeared in mid air in front of them.

Rodney took a step to the side and the image changed slightly, but not enough to be a real three dimensional representation. It was like a large screen with some effects to give the illusion of being three dimensional.

Ronon reached out and put his hand on the globe on the podium. The moment he touched it, the image on the screen started to move as if someone had started the movie projector. The Ronon on screen shot several times before he was hit several times, making him fall backwards and twitching before all life left his body.

Rodney turned to John, who made face. Maybe he'd had a point about this not really being the kind of thing you'd want to see. Rodney still turned back to the screen where a different Ronon was again engaged in a fight. He wasn't wearing a soldier's uniform this time, though, and his opponent was a Wraith.

Rodney could only see the side of Ronon's face. He looked grim, but his hand remained firmly on the globe. Teyla's jaw was clenched as well as they watched the Wraith get the upper hand and suck the life out of Ronon. Rodney didn't need to look at John to imagine his face.

After only the lifeless husk of what used to be Ronon's body remained on screen, the image changed again to another fight.

Rodney wondered how many deaths like these Ronon was going to want to see. Ronon appeared to be on a mission this time with their team. John tensed next to him, watching the fight. Rodney was tempted to tell Ronon to stop already. So he was a big hero destined to die in battle. It wasn't as if this was surprising.

But Ronon watched another violent death unfold and didn't seem inclined to stop.

Rodney wasn't sure what he got out of this. Maybe he needed the confirmation that he'd always fight to death. Or maybe it served as a warning. The natives had made it seem as if the Hall of Death had changed many lives for the better after they'd learned about their possible deaths. Though Rodney really couldn't see Ronon giving up the fight against the Wraith and other enemies.

The next image was in stark contrast to the scenes before. It was an old Ronon lying in a bed surrounded by people of all ages.

Rodney gaped at how different this image was. Where before Ronon's life seemed to be destined to end far too soon in violence, this was the very opposite. This was peace. This was a long life, lived to the fullest, shared with people you love. Some of the younger people looked a bit like Ronon, and Rodney could only guess they were his children and grand-children.

On screen, Ronon quietly drew his last breath. Rodney looked at Ronon but couldn't really read his expression. Rodney himself felt a little better knowing that his friend could have such a long, happy life ahead of him.

The scene changed again, and Ronon was an old man again, lying in bed. The bed was on Atlantis this time, and he wasn't surrounded by people, but there were two women at his bedside. One of them was Teyla, looking as serene as always, while the other one...looked like Amelia. They'd become close friends after the return to the Pegasus Galaxy, but looking at the way Amelia was holding Ronon's hand, gently kissing it, they could be more than friends.

Looking at Ronon, Rodney could see that he didn't seem surprised by this.

The scenes continued, showing Ronon die peacefully as an old man surrounded by loved ones until Ronon seemed satisfied and lifted his hand from the globe. The image froze again, and Ronon stepped off the podium. He looked very calm.

"You should try it," was all he said, but Rodney read between the lines that for Ronon at least the natives' predictions about receiving guidance was true.

"I will be next," Teyla said, stepping onto the podium.

The scenes unfolded for her similar to those for Ronon. There were violent deaths, one particularly striking one where she was still a teenage girl. It occurred to Rodney that the Ancient device did not only move between universes, but also to different times.

The scenes changed to more peaceful deaths, showing Teyla dying surrounded by her loved ones. Rodney recognized Kanaan and also Torren at his mother's bedside.

At one such scene, Teyla removed her hand from the globe and stepped down from the podium. She smiled at Ronon, and something unspoken passed between them before she turned to Rodney and John.

Even though Ronon and Teyla seemed happy with their "guidance", Rodney could see that Sheppard remained skeptical. Rodney himself wasn't sure if he wanted to see his own death. He was far too good at imagining his death as it was. He didn't need any more ideas. Then again, maybe it would be helpful to remind him that despite the dangers of dying on missions, through accidents in the lab, or deadly lemons, he could also live a long, productive, happy life.

He stepped onto the podium, trying to prepare himself to see a different version of himself dying violently, just as it had been for the first deaths the device had shown Ronon and Teyla. When he stepped onto the platform an image appeared of himself in a lab on Atlantis, leaning over a device. He cringed, knowing what would happen. He turned to Sheppard, who's jaw was tightly clenched, eyebrows narrowed.

Teyla on the other hand smiled at him in encouragement. Ronon just looked at him, as if he didn't see why Rodney would even hesitate. It was all just an image after all from a different reality.

Rodney turned back around and put his hand on the globe. His counterpart worked eagerly on the device when suddenly he froze and started twitching, before falling to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

Rodney swallowed. As far as deaths went, this one was quick and painless, so not really a bad one. It was still weird to witness it. The scene changed to one of them on a mission. They were crouching behind a tree trunk, Sheppard right next to him. Rodney half-closed his eyes, knowing that this death was likely a lot more bloody.

On screen they could hear the voice of Ronon, shouting out a warning, "Behind you." It was accompanied by shooting, but Rodney went down in a shower of bullets right along with Sheppard next to him.

Rodney grimaced as blood poured out of his counterpart before the image switched again. It was another lab. He looked a bit younger and it seemed to be on Earth, though the device he was working on seemed alien. Maybe it was at Area 51.

The screen turned white as a huge explosion destroyed the lab and quite possibly the building it was inside. He couldn't know because the screen only displayed Rodney and his immediate surroundings. The scene changed again, this time to another mission. His counterpart was leaning over a bomb, waving his hands while Sheppard looked over his shoulder.

Rodney winced at the familiarity of the scene. How often had he managed to defuse a bomb in the last minute? Of course there had to be universes where he didn't make it. Expectedly, the bomb went off, even as Sheppard started with, "McKay, we really—"

Rodney was more than ready for the deaths to move into the category of peaceful and happy when the next scene appeared. He was old and he lay in bed, though the scene didn't look quite as happy. Jeannie was with him, but nobody else. "You stubborn..." she mumbled, looking at his body with sadness but also annoyance.

Rodney felt slightly betrayed that while Ronon and Teyla got their happy family death, he got this. Sure, things hadn't worked out with Jennifer in this universe, but surely there was one where he had found that certain someone who would happily share their life with Rodney, flaws and all.

As if hearing him, the device changed the scene to the next. He was old again, lying in bed. There was no one at the bedside, but next to him, lying with one arm over his body was...John.

Rodney was so startled for a moment that he dropped his hand from the globe, making the image of the two of them staying frozen in time.

Where the previous scene with Jeannie had been bittersweet, this one was the peace and happiness he'd been looking for. Something in his heart clenched and unclenched as the _rightness_ of the image in front of him overwhelmed him.

He knew that he should be surprised that they ended up as a couple in this reality. He'd never consciously considered that as an option, and yet...it felt like an equation that solved all his problems and seemed so simple that he couldn't understand why he hadn't seen it before.

Rodney turned around to look at John. His expression was...carefully neutral. Rodney looked back at the screen, the content on their old faces, the intimacy, the love that everything about the scene implied. He turned to John again, waiting for him to show that he saw the same.

But John's expression remained closed off. Rodney opened his mouth to ask him, but he realized he wasn't sure what exactly the question was.

He turned back to the screen and put his hand back on the globe, watching himself take a last breath. The scene changed to a similar one. They lay in bed together, in each other's arms, the only witness a cat this time, sitting on the covers.

Rodney turned to John again, who looked slightly more open to the idea that this could be their future. On screen the image changed to another variation of the scene. He didn't know what the AI was programmed to look for, but this seemed to be a variation of the future that occurred frequently, or maybe it was the one that represented him at his most happy.

The image changed again, and this time they were younger, not much older than they were now. They were also in bed, on Atlantis, kissing desperately. Where the other scenes had only implied a romantic and sexual relationship, this one left no doubt about it. Rodney was so mesmerized by what he saw that he forgot what would come. He started, when a huge explosion whited out the image, dropping his hand from the globe.

He suddenly had a crystal clear image of the circumstances of that death, how they'd known what would happen and decided to die together as close as they could.

Because that was how it was meant to be.

Well, maybe not meant to be. Rodney didn't believe in fate. But he'd seen at least three points of data where this option made him a happy man, and as bad as his track record with relationships was, thinking about John and the life that they'd shared so far and how it could change if they took their relationship one step further, he was convinced that nobody else would make him as happy as he'd seen in those three scenes where he'd died in John's arms.

He stepped from the podium with the feeling that he'd gotten as much "guidance" as he could have hoped for and certainly more than he'd expected. He came to a halt next to John, whose eyes only hesitantly met his.

John looked slightly trapped, and Rodney didn't know why. He didn't for one moment believe that John didn't feel the same, so Rodney wasn't sure what he was afraid of.

"Sheppard?" Ronon asked, when John didn't say anything nor moved.

"I do not believe you would regret accepting this gift from our hosts," Teyla added.

John still looked wary, but he quickly glanced at Rodney, and for the first time, Rodney could see in his eyes that he wanted the same future that Rodney had seen and now wanted.

Taking a deep breath, John stepped onto the podium and immediately slipped his hand onto the globe.

The first image showed him in what was probably Afghanistan. Rodney flinched when he was shot even though he had expected it. The scene changed to one on a mission. He saw a version of himself standing next to John's counterpart, along with Teyla and Ford this time, being lined up before they were shot.

The next one was an explosion on Atlantis, and when John was sucked dry by a Wraith, Rodney was more than ready for the device to move on to the happy variations of John's death.

When it came, it was a scene so similar to Rodney's second with John that Rodney wasn't sure if it wasn't the same. Just like Rodney had before, John lifted his hand from the globe. His mouth opened, but no sound came out. He turned to Rodney as if to ask if this could really be.

In that moment, Rodney knew what John had been afraid of. He'd been afraid that it couldn't be. Where Rodney had felt the possibility of their friendship turning into something more in hindsight, John seemed to have felt like this long before this day.

Rodney stepped up onto the podium with John. The screen split into two, showing the exact same image again, only centered on Rodney this time. For a second Rodney thought that it was kind of romantic that they'd die together in that universe, that neither of them had to survive without the other. But then he turned to John. He didn't know how to say, "Yes, this is real. It _can_ happen and it _will_ happen." But he tried to convey it with his eyes.

John opened his mouth, but again he didn't speak.

"John," Rodney said, trying to put everything he felt into that word. He reached out and took John's right hand with his left.

John looked down at his hand in Rodney's, and after a moment he squeezed it.

A wide smile spread on Rodney's face. He looked at John, seeing the love and hope and _happiness_ that he felt reflected in John's eyes.

"Do you need us to get out before you kiss?" Ronon said.

Teyla admonished him, but smiled at John and Rodney.

Rodney turned back to John, who was flushing. He looked adorable—and handsome and sexy and so many other things that Rodney couldn't really process for the moment except for the conclusion that he really needed to kiss John now.

So he did.

John seemed startled for a second, but then quickly returned the kiss, pulling Rodney into his arms. Rodney wanted to melt into him. For a moment, he wasn't sure if he was still standing on his own feet or if he was simply floating on a could of bliss or held up by John's arms. He sighed happily.

John chuckled, pulling away to grin at Rodney. He looked so happy that something in Rodney broke. He hadn't known until this moment how desperately he wanted John to be happy. It seemed more important than his own feelings right now.

John leaned his head against Rodney's and kept one arm around him, moving the other back to the globe. Both their scenes started moving as they took their last breaths together.

Rodney couldn't help thinking that there wasn't a more perfect way to die. The scenes changed once again to similar ones of the two of them, this time sitting on identical couches, leaning on each other. It was again the identical scene for both of them.

Rodney wondered if the AI automatically filtered for universes in which they'd died together, and as if to answer the question, the next one showed two different scenes. Rodney was captured by people in a cell, held by two people in dark robes while a third one lifted a long knife to slash his throat. John's scene displayed him fighting three guys at once. They were wearing the same kinds of robes as the people in Rodney's scene. They killed John by slitting his throat as well.

John tightened his arm around Rodney as they both died. Rodney wondered if it had been the same mission.

The next image of him was one where he definitely wouldn't die with John. He was just a kid, crashing through the thin ice of a frozen lake. He remembered that day and how he'd told the other kids that it was safe because the freezing temperatures had to have made the ice thick enough. Apparently, he'd been wrong in another universe.

He turned to the other screen and was shocked to see John as a kid as well, riding a horse that suddenly started, sending John flying through the ground head first.

Hearing the sound of John's neck breaking was sickening, but even more disturbing was the gut feeling that Rodney suddenly got.

The scenes changed again, a slightly younger looking version of John in a crashing helicopter in Afghanistan and an equally slightly younger looking version of himself dying in a car accident in front of a lab that he'd worked for in Canada.

Ronon suddenly stepped onto the platform as well. But his image showed him dying as an old man.

John lifted his hand from the globe. "Rodney?"

Rodney didn't know what to say. Teyla joined them on the platform, which was getting crowded, and her image showed her dying in a fight with other Pegasus natives. She looked a bit younger than now.

"There's the time of our deaths," Teyla pointed out.

In the middle of the screen where their images met, Rodney could make out small glyphs that were the same for John and him, but different for Teyla and Ronon.

He put his hand back on the globe and the glyphs started changing, counting fractions of seconds from the looks of it.

The scene changed again, and this time most of the glyphs were the same for all of them except for the last few which were again only identical for John and Rodney. Taking in the scenes, Rodney realized that it was the four of them on the same mission.

A bomb exploded in their midst and they all died within seconds of one another, except John and Rodney who died at exactly the same moment down to the smallest fraction of time that the glyphs measured.

The scene switched to the four of them on board the Daedalus, like the bodies they'd encountered when they'd jumped through universes. Again, the times were close together for the four of them, with John and Rodney's being exactly the same.

The next scenes showed John and Rodney in identical images on their bed, while Teyla's and Ronon's showed both of them in similar looking cages killed at the hand of Wraith in uniforms that Rodney didn't recognize but that looked to belong to the same group. As if that particular universe had been overrun by that group of Wraith. One universe.

Rodney couldn't believe that. Even with unlimited variations of their timeline, the chances that the machine would find _only_ ones in which they died at exactly the same time had to be minimal. Even if the machine was specifically looking for those, the power needed would exceed even that of this planet with unprecedented environmental conditions for power generation.

What he was seeing wasn't possible. And suddenly he remembered an alternate timeline in which he'd died before John. "When I drowned," he said. "The old Elizabeth said I gave my life to allow you to flee in Janus' jumper."

The scenes changed to something else, showing Teyla and Ronon dying as old people, while John and Rodney looked both middle-aged, dying in a helicopter and lab accident respectively. Rodney was no longer surprised to see it was at exactly the same time.

The next scene showed him in a flooded gateroom. "This is not possible," he whispered. A pocket of air had gathered at the top long enough to keep him alive while the John from this universe travelled 10,000 years back in time to die there in battle.

At exactly the same moment Rodney finally drowned.

Rodney let his hand slide from the globe. He stepped off the platform, unable to comprehend how this could be. John stepped off the platform as well, and when Ronon restarted the images they continued to show scenes of Teyla's and Ronon's deaths. Sometimes at vastly different times. Sometimes close together, but never exactly the same moment.

Rodney wasn't even surprised anymore.

John looked at him. "Looks like we're not meant to _be_ together..." He didn't finish the sentence out loud. He didn't have to.

They weren't meant to _be_ together, but to _die_ together. Or not even together necessarily. At the same time. As if their lives were intrinsically linked together throughout the universes.

Rodney couldn't even begin to consider the implications of that. He'd never look the same at a situation where John went on a suicide mission. Hell, he wasn't sure if he'd ever let him go alone again. Or maybe conversely he had to do everything in his power to remain at a safe place.

He still wanted that first image of the two of them dying together. Whatever caused their unusual connection didn't care about whether they died together or apart, whether their lives even crossed paths before it happened. But it didn't mean that Rodney didn't know what he preferred.

If he was destined to die at the same time as John, he wanted to be _with_ him when it happened. And if he _died_ with him, he also wanted to live with him.

John was right. Their strange fate only seemed to connect them through their deaths. But even if they were only meant to _die_ together, they could still take matters into their own hands.

"Why not make it both?" Rodney asked. He felt a smile tugging on one corner of his face, feeling strangely calm and confident. "Til death do us part."

John snorted, even as he kept frowning. He looked worried and a bit shaken. Rodney reached out and took his hand again. John looked at him, calming down until he gave Rodney a serious smile and squeezed his hand.

Rodney squeezed back, knowing that facing life and death in the Pegasus Galaxy wouldn't mean the same as it had before. But he'd adjust with John at his side.

As long as they both lived.


End file.
